I remember a time when I was afraid of marriage. Why was this so? I feared making the wrong choice. (As if I could actually know how to make the right choice.) I knew God was trying to choose for me, but I didn't know that I was afraid to trust him. It became apparent to me in the middle of an ophthalmology clinic during medical school. Dr. Siatkowski challenged me. I in turn had to face myself in the mirror. Not just any mirror, but a mirror that eliminates all that had clouded my view of my true motivations. I started to cry and had to go sit in the restroom for a while to collect myself.
I discovered that for my whole life I had been telling God, "I want what you want for me... I trust you." But they had only been words, no meaning. What I had been living was a, "I want what you want for me if I approve and it also matches what I think I want for myself." When I saw the real me, I was ashamed.
I know God doesn't always protect us from suffering. I know to step into marriage meant that I had to open myself to the possibility of suffering and pain in my life, embrace it, and love through it. This isn't just "love", it is "LOVE"... It says, "I will die for you, and make you more important than myself." When I realized that, my mind raced around thinking of terrible scenarios, most of which involved catastrophic health problems both physical and mental, it also included thoughts of Hosea.
God told Hosea to marry a prostitute who would continue to be unfaithful... and God told him that he had to love her and never stop forgiving and loving her. Hosea's wife wrecked his life, but he never stopped loving her, he gave his life for her... not that he died, but he threw his dreams away to love her. This is the way God loves us. God calls us to love our spouse the way that he loves us.
Before you get married. Ask yourself if you are willing to throw your life away to love the other person. If you cannot answer that in the affirmative... you may be too selfish and self-absorbed to have what it takes to make a marriage work, when times are "for worse" and instead of the hoped "for better".
David
I discovered that for my whole life I had been telling God, "I want what you want for me... I trust you." But they had only been words, no meaning. What I had been living was a, "I want what you want for me if I approve and it also matches what I think I want for myself." When I saw the real me, I was ashamed.
I know God doesn't always protect us from suffering. I know to step into marriage meant that I had to open myself to the possibility of suffering and pain in my life, embrace it, and love through it. This isn't just "love", it is "LOVE"... It says, "I will die for you, and make you more important than myself." When I realized that, my mind raced around thinking of terrible scenarios, most of which involved catastrophic health problems both physical and mental, it also included thoughts of Hosea.
God told Hosea to marry a prostitute who would continue to be unfaithful... and God told him that he had to love her and never stop forgiving and loving her. Hosea's wife wrecked his life, but he never stopped loving her, he gave his life for her... not that he died, but he threw his dreams away to love her. This is the way God loves us. God calls us to love our spouse the way that he loves us.
Before you get married. Ask yourself if you are willing to throw your life away to love the other person. If you cannot answer that in the affirmative... you may be too selfish and self-absorbed to have what it takes to make a marriage work, when times are "for worse" and instead of the hoped "for better".
David
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