DNGILB: Trust me, I'm a doctor.

I have a constant temptation at work. I work with many people who can't talk, can't understand my speech, or are too out of it to care or respond. Now, I don't know if this "temptation" spawns from my frustration of not being able to communicate with my patients and the difficulty it creates... or if i'm still an immature 10 year old kid inside of a 32 physician's body. But, I frequently have a desire to walk into a room and just start making weird noises or speaking jibberish as I interview my patients.... But I don't. I am professional. Well... I do fart in their room and then leave. But they poop in front of me, sometimes while they are standing in the hall, so... dngilb

Every once in awhile someone tells me that they read my blog. They tell me that its funny, and it made them cry... and gave them hope. To all whom my blog has caused a shed tear... please let me know. I can mail you some kleenex. (or for those not from Oklahoma where all tissue can be referred to as "Kleenex" I can mail you a tissue.) dngilb (a.k.a. david)

Dear blog... readers... future children of mine. I can't believe its only been 9 days since i've written something on here. It feels like its been a really long time. Life feels like it goes by so slow when you are hoping for change... but so fast at the same time. How is it almost September? I've heard older folk say, "life goes by faster as you get older." I guess I am older... but I'm only 32! I hate to see what life is like when I'm 70. I probably get up from the dinner table to go take a dump, and by the time I get back... I'm 75 and several of my friends have died from cancer or heart attacks. Sorry about that introductory paragraph. I am not entirely sure where it came from... but it probably has something to do with my job. Every day, I come into contact with 12-18 people, most of whom are at the very end stages of life and facing a potentially life ending or life debilitating problem. Cerebrovascular accidents... strokes. It's pretty depr

Sometimes... I feel like I am dying. Or, I might as well be. I am not depressed... Life is just hard and it is difficult to believe that things will get better. I am placing all of "my eggs" in the basket of faith in a personal God who loves me and has plans to prosper me. That being said, his idea of prosperity differs much from how an American would would define it. Yet, if I had American prosperity, but no God... My life would be meaningless and empty, and would be filled with yet a different type of pain... And would end in eternal damnation. I will choose God's will. I will walk into the dark night... Trusting my Lord to guide me... Into a better kind of prosperity... In his perfect but lingering timing. David ps. I took a depression scale... I wasn't depressed. It's just really tough to deal with 2 years of physical suffering. You don't get it or understand it until you experience it. But healthy people seem to judge, condemn, and wash their han