DNGILB: Trust me, I'm a doctor.

Bless her heart. My mom is great! But I guess there are just some sayings that you have to learn when you're young. This one must not have existed during my mom's youth. It must be "modern"? or maybe it was regional? I don't know. We ate at a Guatemalan restaurant. Next to the register they had some pastries. "Cheese Poundcake Loaf". My mom wanted to try that. She bought one. When we got into the car, she started unwrapping it... she turns to me and says, "you wanna pinch off my loaf?" I couldn't stop laughing. ;-) "Yah, let me pinch it off!" David

I feel myself guarding against disappointment. I've had my hopes up before, and disappointment came my way. This time I think, "I won't put my hopes in this test or this treatment... though I hope it works. But my deeper Hope (with a capital H) is in God who is ALWAYS faithful." So, if this new treatment doesn't work, I will lean on my faithful heavenly Father who is still leading us THROUGH this valley. He does not stop leading just because this next treatment isn't THE answer. But, I hope it is. He knows what he is doing. He doesn't waste any hurt.

I've heard for decades that as a man and a follower of Christ, I am to be a spiritual leader for my wife. Sounds good. Noble. Holy. I've been married now almost four years. For more than four years I've been quite frustrated in this role. Many attempts seem to cause more of a rift that a holy moment of growth. I've been praying for some time that God would give me wisdom in this role. He is moving. He has brought my attention to some "agreements" I've made that are based on lies from our cunning enemy. You know him as Satan. He is real... and he intends to destroy us.

"Till death do us part." I figured, if I said this... I should also lay down my life for my wife. Every day. Every moment. Sacrifice myself, if that's what she needs. It sounded noble. That's what I've been trying to do for some time now. Yes, there will be times when what I want or feel like doing need to take the back seat. Her health issues may require a change in "my" plans. But for too long, I've pretended that I am some sort of love robot. Just dial in the "service" mode and turn the robot on. It has an endless power supply. Never needs servicing. Never needs anything for itself. At least this is how I was operating in life. I didn't honestly think that I was a robot, void of any rest or recreation requirement. I tell my patients' families to make sure they take care of themselves. Spend a little time each day relaxing and doing something they enjoy so that they can recharge as they are taking care of their hospitalized family

I've had a nice several weeks. My wife has seen some good times, though still some distressing times as well. We traveled to Austin to visit our friend Randy and partake of some of the "SXSW" activities. (That's "South by Southwest" for anyone who didn't know. A music and film festival.) We also made it to Edmond, OK to visit Vanessa's family. I think my favorite memory of this past weekend in Edmond was when I took in the simple pleasure of a beautiful spring dusk. I had a cool breeze blowing across my face while watching a "V" of Canadian geese flying across the sky as my wife was smiling and laughing as she was kidding around in the front yard with her 10 year old sister Preslie. God, thank you! I'm literally with tears rolling down my face as I remember that scene. How it felt in my soul. Just peace and contentment. Love. God's blessing. Seeing my wife full of bliss and joy! The simple pleasures he designed for our enjoyment. Hi