DNGILB: Trust me, I'm a doctor.

Today I woke feeling content. Then as I started my morning I sensed quite a bit of sadness in my wife. The infertility reality sitting heavy on her today. As we went through this first part of the day I grew quite sad as well. Everything seemed meaningless to me. What is there to enjoy in life when there is such sadness? I feel so helpless to make her happy. But I know its not my responsibility to make her happy. It is my responsibility to make sure she knows she is loved deeply. But what do I do? She had a prior engagement so I headed to the golf course to practice. Entirely beautiful weather today! I couldn't not go. However, it still felt completely meaningless and I had a difficult time enjoying it. However, somewhere in there, I started having a new thought.  I remembered how when her health was so poor several years ago, all I wanted to be happy is for her health to be good enough that we could take a walk together. We have that now. Yet, my gratitude for it seems to evap

What is my ultimate goal as a husband? I don’t know if I’ve ever tried to boil it down to a singular primary objective. I’ve always strived to be a “good husband.” This often backfired and led unhealthy efforts to be perfect. I say unhealthy because when I fell short, I would beat myself up. Or, I wouldn’t even face my problem or admit to it. I would look past it and think, “I’ll just try harder to be perfect.” I would keep parts of myself hidden from my wife, until I've achieved and sustained perfection... it never happened. My primary objective to be a "good husband" got in the way of being completely real and intimate with my wife because no man can ever be perfect. I’m the sort who will always set the bar for “good” just beyond my last great accomplishment. Recently my wife was disappointed because there was no reasonable way for her to make a concert that she really wanted to go see. Theoretically we could go. But it far beyond my comfort level to make it