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Showing posts from January, 2016

Life Update 2016, Fostering.

In the wake of a failed fertility treatment journey was confusion and heart ache. Hearts do not heal fast. The life long dreams of a woman must be grieved. Faith in the goodness of God is put to the test. Is he really for me? Does he really work good out of bad situations? Why would he give me this desire and then not come through for me? What if I don't like what he plans for me? Somehow, we find ourselves having submitted a stack of forms to become certified for fostering. Initially, our plan is foster respite care. That's where we would host a child for 2-7 days while their foster parents get some respite. They don't want foster parents burning out or having their marriages neglected but they cannot just leave the kids with grandma and grandpa the way most families do... that's where we'd come in. We felt like this is a good way to sort of test it out and help at the same time. Wondering, " are our hearts, gifts, and lives made for this? " If so, w

Your True Self

I wonder if its really possible to be your true self when you're single and in your twenties? I thought I was my true self at the time, but hindsight makes me second guess. The reason I second guess is that some of the things I used to enjoy doing are no longer nearly as enjoyable. For example, I used to really thrive on going out late at night and seeing bands play at small venues. It's still kind of fun, but I'd honestly rather have some good sleep. At first it appears that I'm just getting old. But when I think about why I found it enjoyable before is likely influenced by pride. In my twenties, I was single. And when you're single, you want to be feel "cool." You want to be perceived as cool. This makes you more marketable to interesting females. So, going out late at night to see obscure bands is one of the things that made me "cool." Was I really being true to myself or was I trying to be something a little different to impress others?