DNGILB: Trust me, I'm a doctor.

What is the greatest thing in the universe? God. What is the most wonderful thing God could do for us? Help us get closer to Him. How does he do this? By allowing life to destroy us. Thus, helping us to move deeper into his love. Thank you for allowing my destruction. dngilb

For several months, most of my days are tainted by a heavy feeling in my chest... as though there were a weight on top of me, making each breath a laborious event. Yesterday, after doing better at putting God first and REALLY trusting my life and Vanessa's life to him... come good or bad... That heavy feeling lifted. I went through my day with a dramatic reduction in anger, envy, bitterness, and sadness... Vanessa still had significant pain and we were tethered to the couch most of the day, but I wasn't stressed like I had been. Thank you God. I know its going to be a daily effort, possibly struggle, to attain the same degree of "letting go" and trusting God. And "trusting God" doesn't mean that I just sit back and stop any effort to try and help Vanessa get better, but I have the realization that I cannot, apart from God, help her get better. So, I do what I can... and the worry is just out of it a bit, because I realize this will go on until God

First off, thank you Tyler for being obedient to the Holy Spirit's call to minister to me. Thank you to the Holy Spirit for working good when my wife to had a sudden onset of terrible pain... yes that's right, I thanked God in my wife's pain today. I was playing tennis with Tyler, and my wife called with some of the worst abdominal pain she's experienced in weeks and its suddenness scared her. She was crying, and it was evident my tennis date needs to be cut short. I head home to comfort her... Later, Tyler texts me asking me if he could pick me up dinner. Long story short, Tyler comes over and we have conversations about God and life that wouldn't have happened if not for my wife's sudden pain ending our tennis game. Conversation that was much needed, and the Holy Spirit ministered to me during the conversations. "So, what did God say to you?" you ask. The Holy Spirit reminded me of when He confronted me in ophthalmology clinic during med scho

No, I'm not talking about Isaiah the barista at Double Shot... I am talking about Isaiah chapter 43. An old friend from college whom I haven't seen in at least 8 years read my previous blog and sent me an encouraging email and referenced a scripture in Isaiah 43. Truth is I had been hurting. Life has been painful. I felt hopeless and lost with my wife suffering a medical condition that her docs (and I) haven't quite pinned down. (granted they have gotten her past several serious conditions, but the layers to her health issues have been many.) Anyways... I was thinking... I thought back to a friend... Okay, it is partially about Isaiah the barista. He had told me how he would get home from work and spend 4 hours in prayer and scripture and go to bed... he got more of God, and God delivered him to where he needed to be. I thought about my friend Tyler... how he's say, "I want more Him [Jesus]" I realized I had been praying during my trial, but I hadn't

Facebook. do people really put their whole life on there? I know I don't. I avoid sharing the pain and suffering that I go through... that my wife goes through. I use it to record out happy times. People see my photos of vacations, us smiling, doing fun things... they don't see 3 hours later when my wife is hurting or vomiting. Facebook knows nothing about the inner turmoil, anxiousness, and hopelessness that I frequently feel. Do people look at my Facebook page and think, "Man, David's living the life!!" If so they shouldn't. My life is a battle. A battle against inner demons and external afflictions. Facebook is just a cover-up. I cover it up because I get tired of people asking me how things are going. If they know things are rough, they ask more... I lie more... or I give very vague answers such as "Oh, up and down." There are people that I don't mind them asking me how things are going. I do have those who I am not afraid to comm