The past several weeks since my last blog have been a swirl of emotions. At times, I felt pretty good. Other times, horrible. Discontented. Hopeless. Faithless. There were times that I was yelling at God. Anger! (at him) Sadness for my lifel. I felt abandoned... neglected... by him. Does he love me? Does he care? When my wife's health is good, it is easy to feel good. When she feels poorly, it is easy to lose hope and feel utter despair. It is from these places that I find myself almost challenging God, "Come on! Work good here! Isn't that what you do? Work good even in bad circumstances?!" So far... He continues to deliver.
God delivered again. At first, it came as a conviction. I have boundary problems. In addition to crossing over the fence of my wife's boundaries and trying to manage her life... I self impose all kinds of responsibilities on myself that take their toll on my emotional state. Responsibilities that nobody asked me to emotionally own, yet I do