Without the supremely difficult times in life, your "belief" in God is merely a shadow of a belief until it has been put to the test of a grave risk.
I have been put to the test of steep risk over these past several years. I have seen the darkest and most hopeless seeming days. I cried out in the severe agony of seemingly eternal night. However, I always had a keen sense that I had to choose whether or not to stand by my faith and call on my Lord to deliver me. Mind you, this is the very same lord that sent me out into this nocturnal desert, fully aware of the sheer pain I was to encounter.
Can I trust Him who knowingly sacrificed me into this kind of suffering for the sake of another to deliver me... or at minimum sustain, me?? Shall stand by my belief. Shall I continue to serve? Shall I continue to "lose my life" or "die to myself"???????
As painful as it was, I always answered those questions above in the affirmative. I truly believe that God is who he says he is... That he is an "all-consuming fire" and worthy of my praise and my submission even if it were to submit to my torment or my very demise.
God, you led me to the point where my belief in you was put to the test... The risk? Every dream, every comfort, every pleasure... Everything that seemingly makes life enjoyable. Everything that is, except you. You called me to choose: myself or you.
I chose you. I choose you... Now and always.
David
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