The six days of heaven on Earth, where my wife felt no pain or nausea, have given way... there has been a return of pain and some nausea. Overall it is still at a lesser point than where things were for the month of February, but some disappointment has set in. We guarded ourselves against this, because there have been miraculous reprieve before which ultimately gave way to a return of the problems.
As I promised my God, when the pain returned, I told him that I still praise him, I still trust him, and I still want him to be in control of my life. I want to submit to his will. There were a lot of tears during that prayer... a prayer that went on for 30 or so minutes. In the prayer I also thanked God for my wife and the love he has given me for her. I love her more than any other thing on Earth except for my God. I love her so much that no words suffice... only 30 minutes of joyful tears streaming down my face can express what I feel inside. She is the sweetest. Her heart is the most beautiful and purest heart I've ever encountered. I love to serve her. And I'm growing to love serving my God... even if it means pain.
I was able to thank God for "loving me"... not just comforting me and relieving my suffering... but for LOVING me enough to allow me to experience the pain and grow me during our trial. I had the realization that the amount of unselfish love that I now have for my wife did not exist 2 years ago. I was still a self-focused man. Jesus is changing me. It is painful. It is worth it. Because I want to be the kind of man God has intended me to be so that I can love his daughter the way he desires. This trial has also purged sin from my life, it has put into perspective what really matters. God is writing a beautiful story for my wife and I... we just happen to be in the middle of the hard part. The amazing thing is, I experienced Joy from that place. That's the biggest evidence to me that Jesus is real.
God, I love you, I'll serve you, I'll go where you lead,
David
As I promised my God, when the pain returned, I told him that I still praise him, I still trust him, and I still want him to be in control of my life. I want to submit to his will. There were a lot of tears during that prayer... a prayer that went on for 30 or so minutes. In the prayer I also thanked God for my wife and the love he has given me for her. I love her more than any other thing on Earth except for my God. I love her so much that no words suffice... only 30 minutes of joyful tears streaming down my face can express what I feel inside. She is the sweetest. Her heart is the most beautiful and purest heart I've ever encountered. I love to serve her. And I'm growing to love serving my God... even if it means pain.
I was able to thank God for "loving me"... not just comforting me and relieving my suffering... but for LOVING me enough to allow me to experience the pain and grow me during our trial. I had the realization that the amount of unselfish love that I now have for my wife did not exist 2 years ago. I was still a self-focused man. Jesus is changing me. It is painful. It is worth it. Because I want to be the kind of man God has intended me to be so that I can love his daughter the way he desires. This trial has also purged sin from my life, it has put into perspective what really matters. God is writing a beautiful story for my wife and I... we just happen to be in the middle of the hard part. The amazing thing is, I experienced Joy from that place. That's the biggest evidence to me that Jesus is real.
God, I love you, I'll serve you, I'll go where you lead,
David
David, know your story and that of your wife is an inspiration. Not to put you on a pedestal but to tell both of you good job. To share a story where God and Marriage are united and honoring. My prayers are with you both.
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