For several months, most of my days are tainted by a heavy feeling in my chest... as though there were a weight on top of me, making each breath a laborious event. Yesterday, after doing better at putting God first and REALLY trusting my life and Vanessa's life to him... come good or bad... That heavy feeling lifted. I went through my day with a dramatic reduction in anger, envy, bitterness, and sadness... Vanessa still had significant pain and we were tethered to the couch most of the day, but I wasn't stressed like I had been. Thank you God.
I know its going to be a daily effort, possibly struggle, to attain the same degree of "letting go" and trusting God. And "trusting God" doesn't mean that I just sit back and stop any effort to try and help Vanessa get better, but I have the realization that I cannot, apart from God, help her get better. So, I do what I can... and the worry is just out of it a bit, because I realize this will go on until God is done with this part of his plan.
dngilb
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