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Just a little bit more.

Today I woke feeling content. Then as I started my morning I sensed quite a bit of sadness in my wife. The infertility reality sitting heavy on her today. As we went through this first part of the day I grew quite sad as well. Everything seemed meaningless to me. What is there to enjoy in life when there is such sadness? I feel so helpless to make her happy. But I know its not my responsibility to make her happy. It is my responsibility to make sure she knows she is loved deeply. But what do I do?

She had a prior engagement so I headed to the golf course to practice. Entirely beautiful weather today! I couldn't not go. However, it still felt completely meaningless and I had a difficult time enjoying it. However, somewhere in there, I started having a new thought.  I remembered how when her health was so poor several years ago, all I wanted to be happy is for her health to be good enough that we could take a walk together. We have that now. Yet, my gratitude for it seems to evaporated and all I think of are the things that we want and are still missing from our lives. Is my life going to boil down to always being unhappy because there is something I want that I don't have?

The truth is my life is crammed full of amazing blessings! And LOVE!! I have a truly beautiful wife. Inside and out! She loves me completely! And I love her! We have relatively good health, a home, family we love, a job that is amazing, and we are free to worship our savior Jesus Christ without fear of death or discrimination. Isn't that enough to feel blessed. Isn't that enough to not be sad even though there are things we deeply want but cannot get? Do I have to have everything I ever want when I want it in order to be happy? Man, I hope not! Or i'll be forever doomed to a life of discontentment and unhappiness.

It's time to practice a perspective of gratitude. I may not have everything, but I have more than enough to be happy.

Prayer:

Father, help me to be content with what you give me. Praise to you, Father, for you have richly blessed me with so many things! My life is filled with the sweet love of a beautiful woman and we have all that we need to comfortably survive. Help me to rest in the presence of your wonderful love and be content with what you have for me. In Jesus name, amen.

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