Joy and Happiness

Happiness... easy to define. "A state of well-being or contentment based on life's circumstances being favorable to one's desires."

Joy... as a Christian, I think we all know what it is, but to put it into words that clearly communicate its meaning is tougher to do, as it is a little tougher to experience. This is my attempt to define Joy: "A state of well-being, peace, and contentment that transcends life's circumstances as is attributed to one's sense that God is in control of life, that He is good and is working to bring good in all situations."

To have an opportunity to examine whether you have Joy or not, you must be subjected to "long suffering". Temporary suffering, where one can see the light at the end of the tunnel just won't do... you need to be lead into a darkness so deep that in no direction is one able to see the light. It is from that place that God wants you to look to him to experience Joy. From there, you know any sense of peace is not from circumstance, but faith.

I have had glimpses of Joy, but it has not matured as of yet. God is still working on me... breaking me... teaching me to trust him, and to look to him for Joy, instead of looking to the world for happiness. I do believe without doubt that God is real, is love, and is "working on me."

Though I recognize this process is necessary if I want a deeper relationship with God and more out of life, it is still exceedingly painful. If I had my druthers I'd probably talk God into letting me out of this process early and accepting a relationship with him that is a bit more shallow but a bit less painful. (The pain has been so bad, and the darkness so deep that death doesn't look all that bad... yes, that's how bad it can be...) But God views pain differently than I do! To him, pain isn't the worst thing... separation from him is the worst thing. And as I remember, 5 years ago God asked me in the middle of an ophthalmology clinic if I would follow him into the darkness in accordance to his will... and I said yes after many tears. I said yes because I wanted a life of intimacy with him. A life that was more than a selfish pursuit of meaninglessness.

During this journey through the darkness be on the look out for the enemy. The enemy tries to poison this process with temptations of the flesh, chemicals, or even emotional temptations. Do not give in... they can bring devastation to you and loved ones.

So, as you can tell... I'm still on my journey in the darkness... I still praise God and call Jesus my savior. I believe God loves me and has my best interest in mind and is working in all circumstances to bring about good to those who love him. I honestly can't imagine how he's going to lead me out of the darkness, it still seems impossible, but that just means I can't do it by my own power... so when I finally emerge into the light, it will be all a result of God's power and God's love and God will get the glory.

"Dear God, I know that you know I'm hurting... I trust you. Please lead my wife to healing. Lead our relationship to health, maturity and intimacy. Restore us mind, body and soul. Help us gain a deeper relationship with you and to find a mature Joy that will last a life time. Be glorified in all that we go through. I pray that you will finally lead us out of this darkness, but even if you don't I will praise you all of my days."

David