I AM A SPY.

I am not a spy.

My first week of medical school... a girl whom I had spoken maybe 5 words with turns to me as we walk to our "mod" and says, "So, I want to be a spy." "Odd," I think... "what should I say next?" I don't remember what I said next. Jenni Quay went on to be a good friend. Now, we are both spies...

We aren't really spies. But sometimes I feel like I am. I have so many wonderful stories about patients I desire to tell... but there is this law, set of laws really. HIPPA. Basically, if I slip up and tell you what famous person I took care of... I can go to jail and pay $100,000 in fines. So, like a spy, I too have secrets that I cannot divulge... or i'd have to kill you. Oh, and I did actually take care of a famous person (well, famous in the 1980's).

Basically, I can't share anything that might be considered patient identifying information. Please don't construe this next bit of information as patient identifying information. But some people actually like Posey beds. (This is as close to a patient story as I can share.) I suppose it gives them a sense of security... and more importantly a childlike sense that they are "camping" (patient's own confession). The only way you can get one of these special beds (see Sonja Boswell's photo... no she's not a patient) is to be a fall risk if they try to get out of bed. Some patients have been known to tell us they will continue to try and get out of bed, just to retain one of these hospital campers. I can't fathom it. But when your day consists of nothing more than vital checks and calls to the nursing station, "i'm beeping again!" you find enjoyment in little things.

I have so much to be thankful for... You have so much be thankful for!!! (I know I shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition!) I have young people who can't walk, can't talk, care barely stay awake, can't eat, AND have to depend on "Rayce 9-West" to turn them or wipe feces off their butt and scrotum (NOTE: women shouldn't have a scrotum... though... I did have a man with a vulva.) (OH, and maybe some like to get cleaned up by Rayce? wink. wink.) (I have copious parenthetical statements in today's blog! why? isn't like me... ) WHERE WAS I????? Oh yah... YOU HAVE SO MUCH to be thankful for!!!!! Don't take it for granted. Don't smoke. Exercise. Eat good food. Keep a good BMI. and DON'T take it for granted!

(this was only slightly fluffier... I'm sorry.)

David (a.k.a DNGilb)

P.S. As health care providers in the hospital, it should be noted that we become desensitized to death. It no longer affects us. We are immortal??. No, that's not what I meant... What I mean is, it doesn't creep us out like it would to others... Sonja isn't creeped out! In fact, she got into that Posey bed NO LESS than 6 hours after my patient died in it. It almost creeped me out.