I was laying in bed a few nights ago, and I just started thinking about my friends Eric and Lauren... and their beautiful baby boy Canon. I was so happy for them! And so aware of God's blessing. Canon is amazing!
My wife and I would like a family, but health and life have been difficult enough that now is no where near a good time to even try... I thought of another friend who has one of those ticking "bio-clock" things.. but the stars just aren't lining up for them in the relationship department. I have another set of friends who have tried for seven years to get pregnant without results. For some, there are barriers that no matter how hard one strains against... we cannot budge. I literally started tearing up at the realization of how much blessing Eric and Lauren had... and at the realization that my dreams are not within my control to obtain. I am at God's mercy. And I wondered... God, do you have plans for these desires?
Today, as I drove to work at 7:00 am, I saw a couple out for a walk with their dog (this is a common scenario)... and I feel jealousy. grief. loss... I want to be able to do that! (I don't care about walking with the dog... just with my wife)... Today, Van was feeling pretty darn good. What a blessing from God! We took a walk through the beautiful neighborhoods of midtown Tulsa and had fun talking about the houses and all kinds of things. It's such a simple thing. But so many nights, she just feels crappy enough to not want to do that... so, its been missing from our daily routine for a while. Yet, millions can do it whenever they want! Those same millions don't even realize what an amazing thing it is to have health and be able to go out and walk around. But it is profound, and it is not guaranteed. I see all kinds of people at St. John who have had a stroke and have suddenly lost the ability to walk. It's not just 90 year old great grandmothers... its 50 year old fathers... and 24 year old single women who thought they had their whole life before them... its also 35 year old mothers of 4... and they will never be able to take a walk again. Some won't even be able to talk or even feed themselves.
There are simple things that you do everyday... that aren't simple. They are a profound miracle. A gift. Blessings from a God who loves you. That doesn't mean he doesn't love those who have strokes or can't have babies... but ALL good things come from God the father.
STOP COMPLAINING. Your life is amazingly full of blessings! Stop focusing on the 1% you wish would be different and focus on the 99% you've been taking for granted... that 99% that if it left you today you'd probably rather die than be without. Your life is full of blessings. Observe. Enjoy. Thank your heavenly Father.
I'm preaching to myself. I moped around today feeling really sorry for myself... depressed feeling. And while some of the positive emotions I feel right now are because of the beautiful walk I just enjoyed, I have also reminded myself... I am truly rich in blessings, even if there had been no walk.
david.
My wife and I would like a family, but health and life have been difficult enough that now is no where near a good time to even try... I thought of another friend who has one of those ticking "bio-clock" things.. but the stars just aren't lining up for them in the relationship department. I have another set of friends who have tried for seven years to get pregnant without results. For some, there are barriers that no matter how hard one strains against... we cannot budge. I literally started tearing up at the realization of how much blessing Eric and Lauren had... and at the realization that my dreams are not within my control to obtain. I am at God's mercy. And I wondered... God, do you have plans for these desires?
Today, as I drove to work at 7:00 am, I saw a couple out for a walk with their dog (this is a common scenario)... and I feel jealousy. grief. loss... I want to be able to do that! (I don't care about walking with the dog... just with my wife)... Today, Van was feeling pretty darn good. What a blessing from God! We took a walk through the beautiful neighborhoods of midtown Tulsa and had fun talking about the houses and all kinds of things. It's such a simple thing. But so many nights, she just feels crappy enough to not want to do that... so, its been missing from our daily routine for a while. Yet, millions can do it whenever they want! Those same millions don't even realize what an amazing thing it is to have health and be able to go out and walk around. But it is profound, and it is not guaranteed. I see all kinds of people at St. John who have had a stroke and have suddenly lost the ability to walk. It's not just 90 year old great grandmothers... its 50 year old fathers... and 24 year old single women who thought they had their whole life before them... its also 35 year old mothers of 4... and they will never be able to take a walk again. Some won't even be able to talk or even feed themselves.
There are simple things that you do everyday... that aren't simple. They are a profound miracle. A gift. Blessings from a God who loves you. That doesn't mean he doesn't love those who have strokes or can't have babies... but ALL good things come from God the father.
STOP COMPLAINING. Your life is amazingly full of blessings! Stop focusing on the 1% you wish would be different and focus on the 99% you've been taking for granted... that 99% that if it left you today you'd probably rather die than be without. Your life is full of blessings. Observe. Enjoy. Thank your heavenly Father.
I'm preaching to myself. I moped around today feeling really sorry for myself... depressed feeling. And while some of the positive emotions I feel right now are because of the beautiful walk I just enjoyed, I have also reminded myself... I am truly rich in blessings, even if there had been no walk.
david.
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