Around one month ago, I walked into a patient's room at the hospital. This time was different than most. This was a divine appointment. I wrote about this a few blogs ago. Anyhow, I sent this gentleman a Christmas card and informed him that I wanted to visit his church. I wanted my wife to meet him. He and his wife sent back a wonderful letter and invited us to spend the night with them and go to church with them in the morning.
Mind you I've only known this gentleman for a total of 20 minutes. My first inclination was to say, "well thank you, but I we will show up at church and maybe we can go to lunch afterwards." But as I thought about it, I felt a nudge. This man had a fire and love for Jesus that I haven't seen in many people. When we talked for 20 minutes I was blessed by meeting him, and he was blessed by meeting me. That is the work of the Holy Spirit. We each heard what we needed to hear as a conviction and gentle correction/affirmation of where we needed to go in life. When our first meeting was so great, why would I say "no" to the potential of another blessed by the Spirit meeting?!! So, though it is unconventional in today's culture, my wife and I said, "yes!" and visited Jim and Carol.
It felt very Biblical. There are numerous accounts in the Bible where travelers would go great distances and be welcomed into the homes of others whom they didn't really know and were treated like guests of honor. Our culture doesn't do that any more. It's a pity, because it was a great experience... and yes! the Holy Spirit showed up again and spoke truth into my life.
So what is this truth? Well, when my wife experiences abdominal pain or severe nausea, my first reaction is a very visceral feeling. A surge of adrenalin followed by some explicatives popping thru my mind. Feelings of anger and hopelessness ensue. If you've followed my blog or know me well... you know that I have had some low moments. There were moments where the pain was so great that I didn't really care if I lived any more. I know that is NOT what God wants. Jim knew how I felt. He had felt that way in the past, but God had delivered him past that and taken him to new heights... places he wouldn't have ever reached had he not first been through the most difficult of times. Jim challenged me to "praise God" when Vanessa has pain! Can I get a "say whaaaat?!!!"
I do acknowledge that the trials of health have brought about good change in me. I love my sweet Vanessa far more and far less selfishly now than before all of this. My priorities are in a much better perspective. I am less materialistic. I acknowledge that I cannot "do it" on my own. That God is truly the only one in control and the only one with any real power. I know that I will be a far more compassionate and effective physician on those most difficult and frustrating cases. I know that worrying doesn't accomplish anything because I am helpless. So when I get all angry or hopeless when Vanessa experiences pain, I'm essentially spitting in God's face, because that pain... IS PART OF HIS PLAN FOR MY LIFE!!! it is part of his process for purifying me, growing me, getting me ready for what lies ahead. God loves me more than my comfort.
Now when you read this, this may sound very "David-centric." This is what the pain is used for in my life. I am not commenting on how God is using the pain in Vanessa's heart and life. If you want to know that, I guess you'd have to ask her. I do know that she has always had a fear that I would abandon her as her mom abandoned her family when she was a young child. I wonder if it is necessary for us to go through something so terrible for our marriage bond to be shown true and give my sweetest wife the security she needs. Because I can tell you this, no matter how bad life ever could be... I will never leave my bride! That is a promise I made to her and to God.
Besides all of that, the weekend was a huge blessing. Jim and Carol are the nicest people you can meet. They've lived so much! They are both 70 but they do not seem old at all. They seem more in love than 90% of couples I see, including newly weds. They can't talk about anything without talking about God's goodness. They've been Christ followers for about 32 years now. Strangely, Jim accepted Christ as his savior the day before I was born. Almost like a sign that God planned on hooking us up even before I was born. God knew we'd be a good pair.
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