It's probably a common phenomenon to think about the future and make promises to yourself. Vowing to not change in a certain way... or to not lose those aspects of yourself that you currently value as "making you unique." My memory was recently jogged as to a thought I used to have. Which was, "I hope I don't lose my love of unique cutting edge music." I wondered if the David of the year 2000 would be disappointed in the 2013 self.
I do still listen to cutting edge and fringe music. Lesser known bands such as Efterklang, Under Byen, Lord Buffalo, True Widow, Big Black Delta, etc... still pique my interest and curiosity. But music used to be a bigger part of my identity. I listened to it all the time. I'd spend hours writing and recording music... I used it to augment my perception of my day, moment, emotion, experience. While I still manage to have the occasional experiences of those beautiful moments. Most of the free time I have I seem to desire quiet. No sound. No stimulus at all. I'd trade music for being able to be outdoors and feel the wind across my face. I barely listen to the new music that I do buy. I rarely have the desire to see live music any more. During med school, I probably saw more than a hundred bands play live. Where did the old self go? Did I really enjoy it that much? Maybe I just had nothing else to do? Was it just feeding my ego?
As I'm typing this, I'm listening to the new Sigur Rós album. The song Bláþráður is playing... And I'm feeling quite moved. It's stirring something deep inside my heart. Have I lost myself? Has 2013 David failed year 2000 David??? At this very moment am I reclaiming something that has been missing?
Things to ponder.
I do still listen to cutting edge and fringe music. Lesser known bands such as Efterklang, Under Byen, Lord Buffalo, True Widow, Big Black Delta, etc... still pique my interest and curiosity. But music used to be a bigger part of my identity. I listened to it all the time. I'd spend hours writing and recording music... I used it to augment my perception of my day, moment, emotion, experience. While I still manage to have the occasional experiences of those beautiful moments. Most of the free time I have I seem to desire quiet. No sound. No stimulus at all. I'd trade music for being able to be outdoors and feel the wind across my face. I barely listen to the new music that I do buy. I rarely have the desire to see live music any more. During med school, I probably saw more than a hundred bands play live. Where did the old self go? Did I really enjoy it that much? Maybe I just had nothing else to do? Was it just feeding my ego?
As I'm typing this, I'm listening to the new Sigur Rós album. The song Bláþráður is playing... And I'm feeling quite moved. It's stirring something deep inside my heart. Have I lost myself? Has 2013 David failed year 2000 David??? At this very moment am I reclaiming something that has been missing?
Things to ponder.
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